No Air
by foreversleepless
Summary: ONESHOT! Edward's Point of View. How he received the first kiss between him and Bella that day at the meadow. See what struggles he has to go through on a daily basis to be with Bella. Named from Jordin Sparks, No Air. FINISHED!
1. First Kiss

**A/N: This is a one shot. It's in Edward perspective how he felt, and what he was going through, when he first kissed Bella. I hope you like it. It's my first time writing from Edwards Point of View. Leave me some thoughts on what you think?**

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First Kiss - Edward's Point of View

Twilight pages 279 - 285

Song- No Air, by Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown

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"Easier all the time," I muttered.

And then I was running.

I loved to feeling of the wind in my hair when I went at impossible speeds, the feeling the courses through my body was unnerving, staggering. It was the only time I ever felt alive, human again, other than a few mere moments ago, with my Bella in _our_ meadow. All of the feelings of the impossible speed brought on, along with the warmth of Bella's body pressed against mine, I felt like I was in Heaven, except she smelt so absolutely mouth watering. _Stop it! _The monster inside me was raging to be let loose, let out of the cage I purposefully put it in. _So maybe this is Hell. I don't care, I'll take it._

For a fraction of a second I slowed down. I could feel Bella's heart stop, but then it picked up double time. I sense the fear in her frozen body, but she would be safe. I would **never** allow anything happen to her. No matter what. She would be safe.

I loved to watch the scenery pass by and take it the fresh air. It always seemed to clear my head, make me see things more logically. This was how I did some of my greatest thinking. And this moment was no different. Though, to my Bella, this would feel like a few exhilarating moments, to me it was a few mere seconds. Barely enough time to time it through, thoroughly.

I've never kissed a human before. Sure in my rebellious years I tasted human flesh and, while none of their scents _appealed _to me as Bella's did, I would like to hope I have gained enough control to feel her soft, warm lips move with mine. I wanted to so badly and I hope she did too. I found myself wishing, like I constantly did, I could read my beloveds mind. To know how that beautiful, smart mind of her works. To see what makes her tick. To finally be able to understand what goes on there, why she's attracted to a monster like me. What could possibly be going through that perfect little head of hers.

But, sadly, I couldn't read her mind, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how much I focused I can't read her mind. It's forever sealed away from me. The second, more logical part of my mind, argued with my desires.

_But what if I scare her?_ I wouldn't. I couldn't. But even if I did, it would be best. _Best for her!_ That's what I want her safety.

Ever since I realized I loved her and that it wasn't only her blood that I craved, but her body, presence, her willingness to be in my 'life', I knew I wanted to feel her lips move against mine, giving me pleasure with their warmth. _But what if you lose control? What if something happens? _I was arrogant about it. I won't let anything happen. I couldn't continue on without her. I don't know how I did in the first place. If she left I would cease to exist.

Before I met Bella, my life was dark and pointless. If it hadn't been for my family, and most of all Esme, I would have gone to the Volturi to end my meaningless existence. Monsters like myself, who have taken countless human lives, no matter how justified it the matter was, do not deserve a place on this earth. Even if it was one of the utmost evil criminals stalking a poor, defenseless young girl at night, it was not my decision to make, and was a god complex I fought.

After my typical bout of rebellious adolescence came to a close, I wondered home, seeing the monster reflected in my eyes and those of my victims. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how vindicatory. So I went back to Carlise and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. Needless to say, it was more than I deserved, but I'm essentially a selfish creature. I recommitted myself to the vision Carlise had set for his family. I haven't tasted human blood since.

I briefly wondered how I was going to tell Bella about my rebellious years. I didn't want to scare her off, but at the same time I knew it would be best for her. For her to walk out of my life like I never existed, as it should be.

I wouldn't do anything to stop it because I wanted to her be safe, but at the same time I wanted her to stay with me. It was a vain hope.

I never believed I would find someone I would want to be with. I walked this earth among human, wolves, and vampires alike for over eighty years, all long thinking I was complete in myself because Bella hadn't been born yet. I didn't think love was for me. Why would I get joy and happiness from this existence after all I've done? But for whatever bizarre reason, the heavens gave me my angel, my Bella, and for that I'm externally grateful.

I could see the trees clearing ahead. I still hadn't come to a decision on whether or not I would give into my more selfish side and kiss this fearless angel, or do what was best and walk away. _Just try and see if you can handle it, and if it becomes too much then don't_.

We had finally reached the truck when I came to a stop. We spent all the morning, hours and hours of hiking, to arrive back in the truck in a matter of moments. I stood there for a moment with Bella on my back but she seemed to frightened to move. "Exhilarating, isn't it?" My voice, however, sounded high and excited. Whether it was from the running I just did or my resolve I didn't know. Probably both.

I waited for a moment for my beloved to climb down but she didn't move her arms or legs. Although I could feel her head spinning around uncomfortably. "Bella?" My voice sounded anxious now. I hope she wasn't going to get sick. I didn't want her to remember our first trip- _first of many_- to the meadow resulting in her getting sick. I didn't want to be the reason for any discomfort on her part.

At last, my angel spoke. "I think I need to lie down," she gasped. Maybe she'll be alright. Hopefully, the excitement will die down.

"Oh, sorry." I patiently waited for her to loosen her stranglehold on my neck but she didn't move an inch. Her fear had to frozen to my body.

"I think I need help," she spoke softly, still sounding winded like she was the one who ran, and I couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. She was so adorable, even when she wasn't trying. As gentle as I most possibly could be, I reach for my Bella's wrists with my hands, and carefully moved them from around me neck. I pulled her around to face me, and as I did I realized just how frightened she had been because her fear made her scent that much more potent. I was instantly grateful we were outside. I cradled her in my arms like I've long to do for weeks now. I held her for a moment just enjoying the feeling of her soft, warm body against my granite like body and then proceeded to carefully place her on some nearby ferns.

"How do you feel?" The excitement dulled from her eyes but she looked sallow. I've seen her like this before. She was definitely going to be sick.

Her head was moving ever so slightly and I could tell she was lightheaded. "Dizzy, I think."

"Put your head between your knees." I don't ever remember being lightheaded in my human life but I knew well enough that if one closed their eyes and let their head rest between something solid and steady it helped.

I began to hear Bella's heart rate slow, slenderly, as she took deep breaths in and out. A few silent moments passed and eventually Bella was able to raise her head. "I guess that wasn't the best idea," I mused, more to myself, but I knew she would hear.

"No, it was very interesting." Bella was trying to save my feelings. She's so selfless, a true angel. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I didn't even want to think about giving her back. Not now, not ever.

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost - no you're as white as _me_!" Okay, it wasn't that extreme. Humans didn't ever look as pale as us, because they had blood flowing through them. Well, they didn't look as pale as us if they were alive.

"I think I should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time."

She groaned. "Next time!"

The way she said it pushed me over the edge and I could help but let out a genuine laugh. I don't think I've ever laugh as much, in my whole 'life', as I have today. Bella may not see the effect on me, but everyone else sure did.

"Show-off," she mumbled.

I wanted to try and put my plan into action, and now seemed like the perfect time. "Open your eyes, Bella." I spoke quietly.

Immediately, her eyes flicked open, he face centimeters from mine. I could taste her breath in my mouth and it intoxicating. The monster inside me begged to be let out, but I could never allow that. I didn't know how to begin, how to say what I wanted to try with her, so I decided to start with the truth. "I was thinking, while I was running..." I paused.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope." She can be so witty at times.

"Silly Bella," I couldn't help but chuckle. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about." I didn't think humans thought about running when they engaged in that the exercise, but when your Bella, you probably do.

"Show-off," she muttered again.

My face broke out into a smile.

_Get on with it, Edward._ "No," I continued, "I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." And ever so carefully I took her face in my hands, again. She stopped breathing.

I hesitated. Her face was so close to mine, and the view was overwhelming. I had to make sure I was in control. The monster was still trying to break free from it's encasing, but with both of us not breathing, the monster was maintained. I thought back to what I said to Bella in the meadow. _You're the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever._ Bella just didn't realize how true those words were, and, even then, they didn't seem to be enough. With that as my last thought I closed to gap between our lips, pressing ever so gently.

I was in paradise. The feeling of her yielding, hot lips against my marble cold ones was indescribable. And for a fraction of a second I knew this is were I wanted to be, _forever_. And that's when I remembered Alice's vision of Bella becoming a creature of the night. I quickly banished the thought before Bella could see it in my eyes. It would definitely get me into trouble.

But, as I kissed her, I realized what I hadn't taken into perspective. I hadn't thought how Bella might react.

Where our skin came in contact with burned. Her breath came in a wild gasp, her fingers knotting themselves in my hair, trying to lock me in place. And her lips parted, I could breath her heavenly scent.

I had to act quickly. I turn unresponsive beneath her warm, angelic lips, as my hand carefully pushed her back. Her eyes opened and I saw nothing but warmth, concern, and love.

My jaw was clenched as I struggled to maintain control. Bella was still inches from me and I didn't want to let her go. I didn't wan to let this moment go.

"Oops," she breathed. It didn't help the situation.

"That's an understatement."

"Should I...?" She tried to move herself away from my to give me more room, but to stir her scent in the air would only make things worse. I didn't let her move at all.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." I focused on keeping my voice polite. I didn't want to scare her but she had to understand that she couldn't move. I battled within my body controlling the monster. Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated. The fresh flow of vemon did nothing to dispel the sensation. The monster was dying down, becoming a low growl in the back of my mind.

I looked into Bella's loving eyes and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face.

"There." I was no doubt pleased with my self-control

"Tolerable?" She questioned.

I laughed aloud. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

Her expression turn apologetic. "I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry."

I decided to make a joke out of it. "You are only human, after all."

"Thanks so much." Was her reply. Her voice turned acerbic.

Using my speed, I was on my feet in one swift moment that would be invisible to human eyes. I held my ice cold hand for her and noticed her face was a look of surprise, shock, and delight. _Oh, how I wish I could read that mysterious mind of yours, Isabella. _She took my hand and seemed to wobble slightly when she rose.

I couldn't stop myself from teasing her. "Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I let out a hearty laugh, and for a brief moment I felt human again, and it's all because of my Bella.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," she managed to respond. "I think it's some of both, though." She still sounded a bit winded but, thankfully, her heart rate had returned to it's normal pattern.

"Maybe you should let me drive."

"Are you insane?" She wasn't going to give in without a fight.

I tried to work some logic on her. "I can drive better than you on your best day." I was teasing her at the same time. "You have much slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella."

She pursed her lips, deliberated, and then shook her head with a tight grin.

"Nope. Not a chance."

I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. She could be so stubborn, sometimes.

She attempted to step around myself, heading for the drivers seat. Whether or not she wobbled slightly, she wouldn't have gotten by. I wouldn't have let her. I captured he tiny waist in my arm, making it impossible for her to escape.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't like friends drive drunk." I finished with a chuckle. I could tell she was smelling my scent because she leaned forward a fraction of an inch and I could hear her take in the unnecessary oxygen.

"Drunk?" She objected.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." My face mimicked that of a playful child.

"I can't argue with that." She sighed, raised her key high in the air and dropped it. I caught it soundlessly. "Take it easy - my truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible." _I approve, almost.  
_

"And are you not affected at all?" She ask, annoyed. "By my presence?"

Hearing her say those words made me realize she had absolutely no idea what she did to me. My expression grew very soft and I didn't answer at first. _I'll have to show her what she does to me_. I simply bent my face to hers, and brushed my lips slowly along her jaw, from her ear to her chin, back and forth. She smelled heavenly and I simply couldn't get enough.

"Regardless," I murmured. "I have better reflexes."

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_But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe _  
_**No Air, by Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown**_

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**Review, _please_. I want to know what you think. k**thanks**bye.**


	2. New Stories

**Don't forget to take a look at my other stories**

**Story Time  
- Whatever It Takes -  
**In Progress

Bella is a shy, plain, and most importantly, broken girl ever since the accident that was over seven months ago. All this time she's been a shell surviving for her family and her brother Michael Gabriel Swan. Now she off to London England, unable to stand the sideways glances of sorrow and pity no more. She's looking for some type of escape, but could that type of escape be love? Who exactly is this gorgeous, pale, emerald eyed angel she meets on her 'journey'? Will she learn to love and let go? Will the angel help her learn what love is?  
Based on real events and everything in it is researched.

**- College Life -**  
In Progress

Bella's beautiful and even though she doesn't see it, everyone else does. She just graduated from her small town high school and is off to Richmond, CA with her friend Angela. There they attend Lake University and meet new friends such as Alice and Rosalie, and their boyfriends. While attending school Bella meets the most gorgeous green-eyed, bronze-hair boy, named EDWARD CULLEN. Bella's not the only who notices Edwards looks but she's the only girl on campus who's not running after him. What happens when Edward sets his sights on Bella? How will they interact? Will she fall for his dazzling good looks and breathless crooked smile? Or will she keep her distance and guard her heart? When Bella left high school she thought she was leaving all the drama behind. She didn't know how wrong she was.


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